Friday, March 04, 2005

The Pedagogic Ziggurat

Pharyngula: Discrimination and Bias by Webloggers

Comes the slap of plimsolls cheap
Beneath a heavy corduroy sweep
Here's the menace of the lab
Proctor, he, of knife and slab!

Fear his tread, you mouse, you rat,
The Pedagogic Ziggurat;
Scalpel gleaming in the dark
Ablaze, it seems, with Reason's spark!

Ah, I jest; it's not for you
He raises all this ballyhoo.
Your mousy blood won't slake his thirst;
His appetite's for Knowledge First!

See his coat-tails catch the light
(And his pallor, white on white)!
Look at him gesticulate
And lamentate the sorry state

Of academia today--
(Lamentate? What's that, he'd say!)
Hear his song, full sweet, full keen
"Ah, the wonders I have seen:

"Echinoderm and pachyderm, and dermestid and slug
Porifera, Cnidaria, and nematode and bug
Annelid and arthropod and protozoan creeps-a-lot
From hairy paramecium to pointy-toothy ocelot!

"Ah, the wonders, the wonders I have seen:

"Cricetomys, bensonomys, and anti-anteroconid
Monkey, ape and pithecine (oh, don't forget the hominid)
Plecoptera, neuroptera, and buzzy coleoptera
And though it's gone, we've not forgotten eph-e-mer-o-optera!(1)

"So leave the dog to chase the cat,
Unless it is a Salix (that
is pussywillow, son, to you)--
and get outdoors, now, go on, do!"

(1) Cough. Er, sorry about that.


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