When I Was A Lad

Pharyngula: In which I lose patience with these drooling gomers

WIZBANG PAUL:
When I was a lad I went to school
And took to skepticism as a rule;
The teacher showed man's bumbl-ing
And we learnt how science can be humbl-ing.

CHORUS:
And we learnt how science can be humbl-ing.

WIZBANG PAUL:
I practised doubt so doughtily
That now I am an expert in biology.

CHORUS:
He practised doubt so doughtily
That now he is an "expert" in biology.

WIZBANG PAUL:
I took my simple skeptic mind
And applied it cluelessly to Einstein
Who showed old Isaac's theories lack
And proved that Newton was a worthless hack!

CHORUS:
And "proved" that Newton was a worthless hack!

WIZBANG PAUL:
I practised doubt so dubiously
That now I can't believe the law of gravity.

CHORUS:
He practised doubt so dubiously
That now he can't believe in relativity.

WIZBANG PAUL:
I wrote a blog denying stuff
To show that science geeks were not so tough.
I touted trite creationist tropes
Then wondered why they grouped me with those dopes.

CHORUS:
Then wondered why they grouped him with those dopes.

WIZBANG PAUL:
I practised doubt so public-ly
That now I've shown my ignorance for all to see.

CHORUS:
He practised doubt so public-ly
That now he's shown his ignorance for all to see.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

PHUNICULAR:
When Wizbang claims that we know naught
It's just a projection of his lack of thought;
He's taken doubt to new extremes
To avoid admitting to his simian genes.

CHORUS:
To avoid admitting to his simian genes.

PHUNICULAR:
He practised doubt so gormlessly
That now he can't distinguish fact from sophistry.

CHORUS:
He practised doubt so gormlessly
That now he can't distinguish fact from sophistry.

PHUNICULAR:
Now bloggers all, please learn from this
If you want to criticize "the synthesis"
Take time to learn how evo works
And shun the religion of the I.D. jerks.

CHORUS:
And shun the religion of the I.D. jerks.

PHUNICULAR:
So read and read, it's there for free
And you can start to understand biology.

CHORUS:
So read and read, it's there for free.
(Dear G & S, we owe you an apology.)