Spider Sensational

Pharyngula: The burden of bearing a massive penis

What is the matter with Mary Jane?
She's smiling so broadly, almost insane.
Some secret she's keeping is hard to contain—
What is the matter with Mary Jane?

What is the matter with Mary Jane?
She's writhing and moaning, but not from a pain,
And uttering words I'd consider profane!
What is the matter with Mary Jane?

What is the matter with Mary Jane?
She's seeing Pete Parker again and again,
But why does she like him? She'll never explain—
What is the matter with Mary Jane?

What is the matter with Mary Jane?
She's eyeing the office-boys' goods with disdain
And vowing she'll never date normals again—
What is the matter with Mary Jane?