Constitutional Christening

Pharyngula: Link to me, or the Bible gets it!

Few people realize that PZ Myer's "Link to me, or the Bible gets it!" post drew heavily on material rapped by a certain (unspecified) U.S. president.

Alright, people, now I'm gonna get tough.
I'm sick of your treason--enough's enough.
Y'all know what I want; any fool can see.
It's your full support, better give it to me.

Got a constitution here, and a Diet Coke.
Gonna drink it all down, give my kidneys a poke.
When my bladder's full tight, feelin' near to snappin',
What may come to pass? Who knows what'll happen?

I don't want your information;
Don't need more remuneration;
I'm the guy who leads your nation;
Just give me your dedication.

Gimme loyalty 'n' love. Fork 'em over right now
Or I take the constitution down the hall. I vow
I'm gonna do it. Believe me, things are gonna get wet
By me, God's Anointed. You intimidated yet?

Got some razors here, pr'haps I'll have some fun,
Slowly slicing pieces off of it, one by one.
Don't like the First Amendment and the Fourth's plain wrong;
Maybe start with them, then look for more that don't belong.

But will you traitors listen
If amendments go a missin'?
Maybe best I stick to pissin'--
Constitutionally christening
The Articles, dismissin'
Numbers Two and Three, glistening
In holy gold emission?
Decisions, decisions.

Come to think of it, now I'm really feelin' the need.
Should I take this copy with me to the bathroom to read?
Yeah, that's it, reading and relieving, "with care."
Let's hope I don't have a nasty "accident" in there

My numbers men are checkin' on you as we speak
And my personal approval better not be lookin' bleak,
Or my aim might be affected by a sudden messy slip,
And the Eighth Amendment may be sof'nin',
Drip, drip, drip.