Pants on Fire!

Public Service Announcement: Things Not to Do

The "Things Not to Do" story is one of my favorite non-science Pharyngula entries. It makes me wonder what would happen if the same unfortunate circumstances were encountered by a member of the ID movement. I imagine...

When Michael's thigh began to fry
And smoke was rising from his fly,
He took some time to wonder why;
So curious was he.

"This pocket heat's beyond the range
Of human ken; It's passing strange.
What's in there? Batteries and change.
How ever can it be?"

"Could metal coins and batteries short?
Could random movements thus comport?
The chances must be close to naught,
Yet still it's burning me."

He rang a friend, got no free hunch.
Said William, "Second law's the crunch;
It can't be happ'ning."
"Thanks a bunch! My burn's now third degree."

The batteries burned and left him lame,
A candidate for (dubious) fame:
Awards they give in Darwin's name
For self-pruned family trees.