Friday, August 12, 2005

To Curse a Creationist

Pharyngula: The most evil curse ever

May your Luddite defiance and techno-anxiety,
Your morals from myth and pretensions of piety,
Irrelevance to an enlightened society
Let everyone know you're a freak.

May your lifetime's disdain for your own education
One day be the source of your mortification--
A breathtaking, gut-wrenching realization
Of your ignorant arrogant pique.

May your paranoid claims and continued insistence
That science suppresses your piece de resistance
Become such a part of your blighted existence
You feel that it's pointless to speak.

Quel Vecchio Maledivami

Pharyngula: The Most Evil Curse Ever
The Klass Files

My ears are sharp: what lesser men might miss
(A locust's sneeze; a gerbil's pattered piss;
The wind of vapid discourse being broke;
The thrum of thoughts that no-one ever spoke)--

My ears are sharp: each stir is magnified
A thousand times--a hummingbird outside,
A fizzing drink, the pit-a-pat of rain
Might flood my head with rivulets of pain--

My ears are sharp: should any scoundrel dare
Malign my name, my work, my thinning hair,
The echo of his slur will reach my ears,
And line my face with riverbeds for tears--

My ears are sharp: I hear the creak of Death
Upon the stairs--alas, my final breath
Will rattle all too soon! I leave this purse
To Mrs. Hall, and to my foes, a curse:

My ears are sharp: what lesser men might miss
I've come to know, and now, remember this:
There is no wisdom scrawled across the sky,
And he who foolish lives shall foolish die!

Also, a limerick, of which I am vaguely ashamed. I wrote it first, then, finding it unfit, penned the above.

A scientist, with his last sigh
Confides to the star-speckled sky:
"A curse on these wallies,
These fathers of follies--
As daft as they lived, may they die!"

Thursday, August 11, 2005

The Minnesotan Prometheus

Pharyngula: Drunken flies and fish

PZ "von Frankenstein"
Myers exposes his
Ultimate wish:

Tentacles rule after
"Die mortals! So long and
Thanks for the fish."

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Screw the chirality

Pharyngula: Chirality in Euhadra

When old Lefty began to reflect
On his kids, he announced, "I suspect,
Since they're right, you've been screwed
By some dextrous young dude!"
"No it's just my maternal effect."