Old PhaWRONGulans Never Die

Pharyngula: PhaWRONGula comes to a close

I've been added to the Pharyngula blogroll, and we all know what that means:

I don't really know what to think—
A notch in the blogroll, a link!
A PZ extension,
The sort of attention
That comes with a nudge and a wink.

Steve Bates asks

It is grand to see Pharyngula PhaWRONGula befriending!
As I cheered at the beginning, now I'm sad the story's ending.
For a month a willing passenger who never knew the driver...
May I vote for the conclusion leaving PZ a survivor?

PhaWRONGula felt no compunction
To deal with the plot-line disjunction.
Choose reason or fervor,
Then you, as observer,
Collapse the Les Myers. wave function.

Believe Me

Pharyngula: I doubt that the Skeptics' Circle is online

We skeptics were boasting about
the faith we could each live without;
You couldn't conceive
that you'd ever believe,
While I doubt that I'd doubt what I doubt.

Snake Oil Seminary

Pharyngula: Charlatanry at the U of M

The world is foisting snake oil--making education pay.
The U of M finds healing when big wads of cash are moved
across the palms and budgets in a touching, caring way.

P. Myers is disgusted at the quackery approved.
Pretorius suggests that for the uni's top admins
all self-respect and dignity are surgically removed.

While QrazyQat gets tetchy and flings in some punny spins
and mark in Pennsylvania fears that funding quacks may spread,
but Cameron says there is no shame; it's always who dares wins.

For making hay, McKay would say there's paydirt in this thread:
Try pandering to rubes with pets and selling a mirage.
(Just watch when John has cockroach clinics run from his back shed.)

A asks us how this touch-crap differs from a cheap massage
but seems to be distracted by some memories of fun.
J Ehrich adds some courses to his cultural collage.

How practical is TonyB when all is said and done,
to look for strength of character when money is involved?
But Reed gives hope from FSU where common sense once won.

Chris Clarke points out that quasi-vets hold lore that's un-evolved
But grants respect to volunteers who keep his bunny cowed.
while Grumpy thinks of Star Trek where senescence has been solved.

Jay wonders how much work's been done and how much research plowed
into traditional practices and new-age pseudo-tech
that's sold to desperate people wrapped in ancient wisdom's shroud.


Hey! I could sell the world a cure. Let's try it, what the heck!
"For everything you need to know: Pharyngula! (and Trek)"

Crusher Cranford

Pharyngula: I have a new hero

A scoffing scaramouche Scarborough
With scanty science skills
Screeched Schiavo's scandal for
Unscrupulous Schindler's shills.

Cranford crushed the crackpot critters,
Calling credulous cranks.
We credit Cranford's courage crossing
Calumnious columnist skanks.

All My Own Work. Honest!

Pharyngula: A plagiarist gets her comeuppance…

Shall I Compare Thee To A tree
whose hungry mouth is prest against a borrowing of misery,
as though we were not drunk!
Don't be martyred

Forgive me
they were delicious.

Mock, Mock, Mockin' on Heaven's Dorks

Pharyngula: Point and laugh, everyone!

When the "finest conservative minds" in the west
are supporting Discovery's brightest and best
should we call this collusion a kit-full of tankers
or rightfully name it a wedding of bankers?

Palp Friction

Pharyngula: Spider Kama Sutra

Oh PZ! your posts have me thirstin'
for things I should not be submersed in.
Before your depictions
my worst spider fictions
were upside down kisses from Kirsten.

Induction Seduction

Pharyngula: Watch out, mathematicians, you're next!

Let's set the record straight about
How mathematics is in doubt.
Yes, math too has its dirty lies
But hides them from discerning eyes.
You want to see this great seduction?
Take a look at math's "induction."

Godless mathematicians say
ALL natural numbers known today
Can make themselves!--just start with one
Then add on one until you're done.
But what they say is plainly flawed;
They perpetrate a mighty fraud!

All things wise and wonderful,
All digits, even, odd,
All sums nice and numberful,
They all were made by God.

Math'matics is religion too
With arcane symbols through and through.
Has any math-magician ever
Made all numbers? No, they're clever:
Show the start, BELIEVE the rest.
They'll NEVER put it to the test.
They've tried and tried but they get weary:
See! Induction's JUST A THEORY!

Speculative Fiction

Pharyngula: PBS and the 'debate'

A science teacher, Claire, was met
By parents most annoyed.
They told her, "No more Darwin, or
We'll see you unemployed!"

Brave Claire replied, "Why can't I teach
The truth the textbooks tell?"
"You'll learn creation to our kids
Or else you'll burn in hell!"

"I'm very sorry, that's a task
Best handled by Miss Guide.
She runs religious studies now,"
Claire carefully replied.

"And now, I must depart because
I've lessons to prepare.
Your children need the best that I
Can give to them," said Claire.



That night Claire's home was tagged with paint—
Damned rascals and their tricks!
They'd signed their names: "Luke17"
And "Matthew18-6!!!"

You'd think it must have frightened Claire;
She left without a trace.
(Of course, in this the parents saw
A token of God's grace.)

Police had noted other pranks
That night, but nothing queer—
Some kid called "Mark9-42"
Had tagged the old wood pier.

A burglary had taken place
A minor one, but still
It's strange to steal the millstone from
The town's historic mill.

The Call of Darryl

From our own comments: "This thing, which seemed instinct with a fearsome and unnatural malignancy"

Darryl
out of his depth
has awoken. That is
not dead which can eternal lie
to self.

Only a flesh wound!

Pharyngula: Buh-bye, Darryl

Darryl feels the persecution
of the evil evolution;
Darryl knows he'll be rewarded
for the truth his words recorded;
Darryl daily bears his cross,
counting worldly wisdom loss;
Darryl feeds his strong conviction
that he just faced crucifixion;

What to do with artless dodgers?
Any clues, Darryl "Rodgers".

PZ Suffering Satire? Where?

Oh Stephen Brophy, read the text!
No suffering will you see.
There's ne'er a scold from these two skalds
And on our scroll a tale unfolds
Of tribute to PZ.

Oh Stephen Brophy, read the text!
Pray, change your point of view.
The quest for truth is always hard
And each brave knight deserves a bard;
For PZ there are two.